I love kids.  I love kids in weddings.  I love the unpredictable nature of kids in weddings.  But I'm also a mom.  And here is my mom advice.

When you first get engaged and you are picking out your wedding party, a lot of times you will have beautiful nieces and nephews that you want to be included.  Sometimes they are a bit young, but even if they cry all the way down the aisle, they still are cute.  And you have to include them.  Completely understandable! But we need to make a plan for their day.  

Photo courtesy of Dee Moore Photography

We all know a wedding day is a long day.  Sometimes the wedding party is arriving at the church 5 or 6 hours before the ceremony time for getting ready and pictures and things.  It is necessary for this extra time as there is so much to be done before the ceremony starts.  But it is so hard on the kids and their moms.  Especially if mom and dad are both in the wedding party.  What about if the go-to grandparent is your parent too and is in the wedding party.  There is no one that can deal with the kids.  Can you imagine your mom, in her beautiful dress that is not meant to be bending down and picking up kids, trying to bend down and soothe her grandbaby... It is stressful.  And it is your wedding day, you don't want anymore stress!

That is what this really is about - the stress level and how it can be helped.  This is not about not having kids in the wedding (I want to make sure that you understand my point here).  It is about preparation.  

During a long day at one of our weddings a few years ago, the family was prepared.  It was a large family with lots of nieces and nephews and everyone (even the parents) were included in the wedding party.  They came prepared with 4 babysitters for the day.  It was awesome!

The babysitters arrived at the church with Happy Meals for all of the kids (because remember the finger foods you and your bridesmaids might be enjoying, might not appeal to the little ones).  And if the poor kids can't have a nap on such a long day, can't they at least have something to eat that they like???  These babysitters were also playmates that didn't have to worry about getting dressed with makeup on to take lots of photos!!  

And don't forget a wedding ceremony can be extremely long for a little one.  I love the trend of letting the littles walk down the aisle and go directly to sit down with a loved one.  It is the best of both worlds.  

You don't want your sister to have to juggle hold her child while wanting to celebrate with you on your wedding day. Plan ahead!  Thank goodness for the babysitters!!  It allowed for a stress free day for everyone. 

Meredith Ryncarz Photography

Everyone knows that they are going to be nervous on their wedding day.  Standing in front of 100s of people trying to repeat the words that the minister is asking you to do, without embarrassing yourself, is very nerve racking.  And I am not trying to add something to your list of things to do, but it is actually something that you can take care of before the wedding day.

When you guys sit down with your pastor, ask him/her to include in the vows and ring ceremony for you both to face each other first.  Let me try to explain.  Because this seems like an easy one - the natural way is to turn to someone when you are speaking to them, but when you are up there and the minister is feeding you your "lines" you start talking to him and forget to turn to your spouse-to-be.  Most of the time there is this awkward wanting to talk to your spouse, but you are looking at the minister for the next line.  All the while we are getting video of the back of your head (because let's remember the church's restrictions on camera placement) instead of your faces.  Same goes with the rings.  We want you to turn out so that the audience can see what you are doing.  

The perfect, easy solution is coming up!  We have heard this done many times and it sounds very natural.  This is what the minister should say,  "Now Suzy, face Billy and repeat after me."  Easy as that! It works perfectly and your photographer and videographer will get great shots of your face as you say the most sacred of vows.  Trust me on this one.